In the Republic of Ireland blasphemy is illegal as of yesterday. The new Defamation Act provides the following definition of blasphemy:



Since the Ultimate Comment holds the number of gods we have, that is, eight, to be sacred, and if someone pointed out to us that in fact, the notion of eight gods, one of which is a spoon, is quite ridiculous, we would obviously be insulted, any mention of any or no gods where the number of them is less than eight in Ireland and/or one of these gods is not a spoon is now ILLEGAL in the Republic of Ireland and subject to a fine of €25,000.

Our first target will be the Church of Dermotology in Ireland. They worship Dermot Ahern (which by the way also happens to be grossly insulting to all of us). We intend to pursue this to the full extent of the law, with possible public lynching involved.

TRIANGULON SPOTTED IN BELFIELD

 

The ICE-SHADOW of Triangulon has been spoted in UCD. Also, isn't it hilarious that everything is covered in something that makes it impossible to walk?

BIG SHINY FISH MADE OF CDS

According to this thread, The Ultimate Comment's latest task is to build a giant shiny fish made of CDs

Dimensional Transfunctioner elsewhere on the internet

Have a look at this and this.

The Ultimate Comment has once again defied all credibility, this time by invoking the Spirit of Santa Claus into a human being, at our stall at the BioCycle event in McGruder's.


Some other pictures of last night's event are in this thread.

The Ultimate Comment held another insanity/free cake/magazine stall in McGruders as part of MarQ's 4th Eyez event. It all went very well. Watch this space for analysis of the results of some of the interactive stuff we had, including a video of the Robot Wedding.

For those of you who are unaware, The Ultimate Comment will be holding another stall in McGruder's for a psychedelic event on the 27th of this month. We'll be holding meetings to help organise activities, decoration and insanity between now and then. Keep reading this page.

Here is the Ultimate Comment's third film. Time Matrix Fuckup 3: Scourge of the Multiverse

The Life Festival took place last weekend the 4th, 5th and 6th of July at Cutra Castle in Gort, Co. Galway.

Commenteers were present in force to provide festival goers with free cookies, cakes, wine, zines, dinosaurs and insanity.

The uptake on the zines and cake was astounding, many people reporting instant laughing fits upon reading.

The festival was attended by the cyborg and fluorescent interrobang depicted below;




For more photos visit this thread

Here's some new Videos from the Ultimate Comment

The invocation of Pan at the Stall last weekend


In Heaven it's sometimes like this


Thomas the Walking Head and the Holy Spoon are assaulted by a magical trumpet called bill. How will they protect themselves?

As you may know, the Life Festival is taking place in Galway this weekend - the 4th, 5th and 6th of July. Following the success of the Rock Candy stall, it would be stupid of us not to represent at the Life Festival, wouldn't it?

We can re-use most of the stuff from the Rock Candy stall, plus our added wisdom and experience. We plan on hiring a generator so we can bring sound and light.

Any operatives or volunteers who'll be at the Life Festival should make themselves known at this thread or contact Conor.

The stall, covered with a veritable cornucopia of cakes, godlike effigies, colourful paintings, toys, lights, leaflets, 'zines, and more more MORE, took off like a rocket. It was the convergent point of the festival, where everyone ended up coming to have the most fun of all, get their faces painted, learn about the gods and secrets of the universe, confess their darkest sins, and even stare blankly into space for 10 hours or more! Pictures are to follow!
SECOND IMPOSSIBLE WEEKEND OCCURS

Ultimate Comment holds stall at Rock Candy Festival

Second issue of zine 'Interrobang' released

The Ultimate Comment held a stall at Human Music's Rock Candy in McGruder's yesterday, with cakes, biscuits, toys to give away, lights and artwork. It couldn't have gone better, wihth 100% cake consumption reported. We also gave away copies of the new zine (get your PDF copy here - but please PM or email or post on the forums to get a real copy as there are loads left - also, anyone who requested the first issue by email should be getting one in the post early this week along with the first one).

There were cakes and too many different other kinds of confectionary to name decorated with the Gods, insane lights (kindly provided by our hosts), a UV "Cannon", a glowing skeleton, gods illuminated by LEDs, the Gods in physical form, paintings, face paints, a confession box, glowing orbs and the Cosmic Wand (AKA the device which makes us dance). There was even an invocation of Pan.

See here for more pictures!

Keep an eye out, there will be even more later.

MAJOR thanks to Human Music, who are out and out legends for hosting us, to everyone who did any work for the stall, anyone who came to McGruder's and anyone who came up to the stall and ate cake.



[ Read the rest ... ]

Meeting WEDNESDAY in Ranelagh at 6

There will be a meetingON WEDNESDAY to discuss the final plans for the stall. Also, if you have stuff to send in for the zine, please send it NOW. It will be printed on Friday,

There's two identical meetings this weekend, either Friday or Sunday depending on what suits YOU. See here

Part 2: An Garda Siochana




Sooner or later, we're all going to have to tell them. Whether they're going through your house, rummaging through your bag or firing at you with a water cannon, the question will eventually come up: What's the deal with those eight gods?

This is going to be more difficult than telling Polish people. The Poles tend to be understanding and easy-going, whereas the guards tend to ask a lot of questions, accuse you of everything they can imagine and repeat themselves when they think they're on to something. In some cases, offence is the best form of defence. Perhaps we can best rid ourselves of the upcoming problem by approaching the guards ourselves.

Step 1: Tap a garda on the shoulder. Start by asking them questions. A good start is Do you know where I can get high quality narcotics at lo-lo prices? If they start telling you where, you have nothing to worry about. It is possible that you have met a drug dealer instead of a police officer. Negotiate a price for your fix and arrange a meeting point.

Step 2: If you're still sure it's a Garda, you're more than likely in trouble now. However, to avoid being asked who you are, who you're with, where you're from etc. you will want to keep asking them questions. Ask them what's in their bag, or in their hat. Keep asking more questions.

Step 3: You may be in the back of a car now. This could be the right time to give the guards a leaflet explaining the eight gods. You might try drawing them on the back of your seat if you're not cuffed.

Step 4: At the trial, they may try to take away your kids. This will generate lots of publicity, and spark a massive upsurge of awareness among rank-and-file Gardai. Success.

Any volunteers?

Famous encounters of The Ultimate Comment with the cops:

During Operation Spireface, one of the Miaowjaheedin informed the police that we were not defacing the spire, but in fact, facing it.

When The Ultimate Comment in co-operation with some others held a public meditation circle in Dundrum Town Centre, they were removed by security guards. However, one of them posted on the website to say he was amused.

Two adherents called Oracle and Monk had a brief encounter one Sunday, but the cops were repelled by magical powers.

Albert Hofmann, the inventor of LSD, has died aged 102. His remarkable account of inventing the chemical and accidentally ingesting it is avilable in the full text of "LSD: My problem child". May he ride magical trumpets for eternity,

How to talk to PEOPLE about THE ULTIMATE COMMENT
Introduction
Today we lanuch a short series on how you can deal with different people about the Ultimate Comment. We hope to cover different nation, different subcultures, your parents and, of course, yourself, if you wake up and find yourself in a Thomas suit wearing a fez and have no idea why. This is how:


Part one: The Polish
There are more than 70,000 Polish people living in Ireland. Everyone who lives in Ireland knows that they are absolute legends. In return for the economic boost that they have given us, we should give them total enlightenment.

Introductory text
Krańcowe Stwierdzenie (Ultimate Comment)

Krańcowy Komentarz / Stwierdzenie jest kultem, którego zadaniem jest odkryć Sekret Wszechświata. Przyjmuje się, że jest osiem (8) sekretów. Kiedy te 8 sekretów jest połączone ze sobą wtedy wiemy z czego powstaje Krańcowe Stwierdzenie (bo te 8 sekretów tworzy owy Komentarz / Teze). Jest to oświadczenie opisujące całkowity Wszechświat. Każdy sekret powiązany jest z magicznym dobrem / bóstwem, a ich nazwy to:

Wymiarowy Transfunctiokoner

Kocie Mruknięcie (miow)

Trόjkąt

Święta Łyżeczka

Rzeczywista/Prawdziwa Ryba

Tomasz chodząca głowa

Magiczna trąbka zwana Billem

DXM Anioł

This should be helpful enough. I don't expect any of you to be able to pronounce this, which will make it all the more hilarious as you hand them crude drawings while slurring unpronouncable words,

Stay tuned for Part two: Telling the Gardaí about the Eight Gods,

HALLELUJAH!

The Ultimate Comment grows ever closer to its magical goals as the second holy quest is completed. General Miaow, the cat god, has been brought into physical existence in a secret ritual. He has fused His consciousness with that of a physical host cat, Mouser, to become General Miaowser. The cat is located near Milltown, in Dublin.

Above is one of the few pictures that has been revealed to the public, but there are more if you need to see them. As this animal is now a Living God, a Supreme Being made flesh, we expect that he will go on tours and give talks.