Homer simpson

From The Maze Where Realities Converge - the psychedelic encyclopedia of reality from The Ultimate Comment

"All my life I've had one aim: to acheive my many goals"

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"My subconscious is a genius."

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It's just one of life's mysteries - like why is my nose jammed full of army guys?

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[When Homer is going to sell Bart's pet elephant to an ivory dealer]
Lisa: Dad, how would you like to be sold to an ivory dealer?
Homer: I'd like it fine.
Bart: Even if he killed you and made your teeth into piano keys?
Homer: Yes, of course I would. Who wouldn't like that - to be part of the music scene?