Christmas Tree

From The Maze Where Realities Converge - the psychedelic encyclopedia of reality from The Ultimate Comment

A central point on which all Christmas feeling tone gets focussed. Christmas trees are the precursor to the dimensional transfunctioner, they are smaller transfunctioners, which is why they can only be present for a small portion of the year. Otherwise there would be too many vortices.

The flaming Christmas tree is the official weapon of the Ultimate Comment, because it can be used in any combat from annihilating entire civilizations to one-on-one fights. We have heavy duty supersonic tanks equipped with cannons that fire at a rate of 10 flaming Christmas trees per second. Also surrounding the secret headquarters are pit-traps filled with Christmas trees which ignite on falling in. The ignition fuel is sparkler dust, which is sort of like pixie dust, but much more dangerous. There is no creation known to man which can stand a barrage of flaming Christmas trees being fired at it, especially at Christmas time, for the very dimensionality of the Christmas tree is set alight and any objects nearby will be warp-fried.