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Welcome to The Ultimate Comment - the psychedelic cult getting ever closer to the secret of the universe! Prepare your brain for explosion as we blow your mind with our astonishing mystical revelations. Have a look at our introduction page, browse the articles and pictures in the Maze Where Realities converge and join the forums to be in on the nature of reality.
Albert Hofmann, the inventor of LSD, has died aged 102. His remarkable account of inventing the chemical and accidentally ingesting it is avilable in the full text of "LSD: My problem child". May he ride magical trumpets for eternity,
How to talk to PEOPLE about THE ULTIMATE COMMENT Introduction Today we lanuch a short series on how you can deal with different people about the Ultimate Comment. We hope to cover different nation, different subcultures, your parents and, of course, yourself, if you wake up and find yourself in a Thomas suit wearing a fez and have no idea why. This is how:
Part one: The Polish There are more than 70,000 Polish people living in Ireland. Everyone who lives in Ireland knows that they are absolute legends. In return for the economic boost that they have given us, we should give them total enlightenment.
Introductory text Krańcowe Stwierdzenie (Ultimate Comment)
Krańcowy Komentarz / Stwierdzenie jest kultem, którego zadaniem jest odkryć Sekret Wszechświata. Przyjmuje się, że jest osiem (8) sekretów. Kiedy te 8 sekretów jest połączone ze sobą wtedy wiemy z czego powstaje Krańcowe Stwierdzenie (bo te 8 sekretów tworzy owy Komentarz / Teze). Jest to oświadczenie opisujące całkowity Wszechświat. Każdy sekret powiązany jest z magicznym dobrem / bóstwem, a ich nazwy to:
Wymiarowy Transfunctiokoner
Kocie Mruknięcie (miow)
Trόjkąt
Święta Łyżeczka
Rzeczywista/Prawdziwa Ryba
Tomasz chodząca głowa
Magiczna trąbka zwana Billem
DXM Anioł
This should be helpful enough. I don't expect any of you to be able to pronounce this, which will make it all the more hilarious as you hand them crude drawings while slurring unpronouncable words,
Stay tuned for Part two: Telling the Gardaí about the Eight Gods,
Tuesday 01 April 2008
second quest completed --- GENERAL MIAOW IS MADE FLESH
The Ultimate Comment grows ever closer to its magical goals as the second holy quest is completed. General Miaow, the cat god, has been brought into physical existence in a secret ritual. He has fused His consciousness with that of a physical host cat, Mouser, to become General Miaowser. The cat is located near Milltown, in Dublin. Above is one of the few pictures that has been revealed to the public, but there are more if you need to see them. As this animal is now a Living God, a Supreme Being made flesh, we expect that he will go on tours and give talks.
Magazine - INTERROBANG - Released The Ultimate Comment has released a free magazine called INTERROBANG. Only 100 copies were made because of lack of funds, but it is brilliant if you manage to get hold of a copy. It features philosophy and conjecture.
We have about 20 copies letting, if you are interested in getting one please post in the forums or email us. Otherwise you can download it at http://www.theultimatecomment.com/files/zine.pdf We are accepting submissions for the second issue.
Before Hallowe'en the DXM ANGEL made an appearance at the Samhain festival organised by Dún Laoighaire Rathdown county Council in Marlay Park. Several representatives of the Ultimate Comment's earthly divisions were there to welcome it, and noticed a few strange reactions from children and parents the the DXM ANGEL's majetic appearance.
Most interestingly, the children had a number of guesses as to what the DXM ANGEL, a magical god of power and light, really is - and here they are:
"Hey look, it's a snowman" "Mommy, a giant fairy" "A bird" "It's a starfish!" "What is that large umbrella?"
One mother who interrogated the Ultimate Comment's representatives made a number of other observations, until eventually she was too disturbed by our representative's answers to continue.
Click here for more pictures of Operation: Spireface! Video to follow shortly Surely the first thing that should come to mind when we consider the current status of the Ultimate Comment project is that the eighth secret has yet to be discovered. Numerous reasons have been posited for this shortcoming; not least of all is the notion that if we were to discover the eighth secret now, it would doom the rest of the project either to the hopeless task of discovering the secret of the universe immediately, or, if it were the case that the secret of the universe should follow immediately the discovery of the last of the initial eight, we would be left red faced with the possibility that we were wrong should that event not occur.
Those accusations are facetious, baseless and fallacious. The truth of the matter is, no matter how ridiculous it may seem, we are right, whatever happens. The outsider who fails to understand the profundity of any of the existing revelations is simply that: one who fails to understand.
But the long and short of it is, if we are not to fail ourselves, we must make an eighth discovery to complement the seven we have achieved, and we must not take forever to do so. One one side of this treacherous valley lies a slow decline, obscurity and ignorance, while on the other lies fame, power and glory. On that side also lies the greatest discovery in the history of the world, and the promise of a golden age.
Luckily for us, this is not a choice. This is the manifest destiny of the Ultimate Comment and all who seek it. We must simply ensure that the insane mysteries are solved while we are still alive.
And thus the Third Prophechy. The first prophecy of 2004, that of a system of eight gods, each with a secret, and a cult who followed them, has come to pass. The second prophecy, the vague revelation that "something is about to happen" beginning in 2005, is ongoing.
The third prophecy, that concerns the future of the Ultimate Comment, and the prophecy that will lead us to the discovery of the eighth secret, will be made manifest on Saturday 29 September, 2007.
Phase 3 of Operation: Spireface (deployment stage) was completed as an unqualified success. The face was implemented as planned early this afternoon at Dimensional Transfunctioner, O'Connell Street. The face was then removed by the deployment team with the assistance of the local police. Light resistance was met in the form of two concerned citizens, one of whom was wearing a piece of paper sellotaped to his head. Additional media including photographs and videos will be made available upon declassification within the next 2 days.
We are pleased to report that the construction phase of Operation: Spireface has completed. Agents will be informed of the developing status of the mission soon, pending a formal meeting and the operation itself.
The second in the Ultimate Comment's sci fi thriller series is here, and it's less intelligible than ever! Two more films should be coming out this summer.
A general meeting has been called for the second of June Since so many people are going away or are still busy with exams attendance might be low so if you can come, please do, and bring anyone at all that you think might be interested. There will be cake there and possibly minor drinking afterwards. This meeting is vital if you're contributing to the zine as we need editorial help big time as well as ideas for some small fundraising. There's a lot of other things to discuss also. The meeting will be held in Clonskeagh for resource reasons, if you have trouble knowing where to go, send an email or two to -email- and you will be dealt with. In the meantime, please enjoy a video version of The Miaowndukya Upashinad, complete with reverse nukes.
introduction
articles
list of gods
media
known secrets
links
Welcome
Wymiarowy Transfunctiokoner
Kocie Mruknięcie (miow)
Trόjkąt
Święta Łyżeczka
Rzeczywista/Prawdziwa Ryba
Tomasz chodząca głowa
Magiczna trąbka zwana Billem
DXM Anioł
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