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01/30/2006: "Multidimensional Hyperdrive"
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2006/01/06/hyperdrive/
The US military is considering try out the concept of a hyperdrive to go really really really really fast. Mars in 3 hours, they say. It involves some sort of big magnet and floating coil to go into dimensions where the speed of light could be a lot faster and so we could surpass our current limit.
The problem is the physics it's based on is understood by approximately 2 people in the world and is "hazy" at best.
But hey, a practical dimensional transfunctioner eh?
On other matters a new, a more standard transfunctioner was sighted yesterday on top of a church in Ballinteer, but no camera was to hand and so it shall remain undocumented until further investigation is done. It would suggest a coverup from the church on the true nature of things, and perhaps a collaboration with extradimensional entities acting as "God" to gain followers / subjects to follow them into their dimension, which they lead people to believe is Heaven.